No…no one is. It may seem like it to some, however, there is no such thing as altruism [that is doing an act of kindness or bravery or life threatening for the sake of others and without any connection of benefit for you]. People backed up against a wall of logic always bring up, ‘well what about a soldier who jumps on a grenade to save his buddies. He certainly gets nothing back for that act except death’. Oh but yes he does; just before he gets blown to pieces he knows he’ll be remembered as a hero who paid the ultimate sacrifice. —-and there are multiple other examples.
From what I have seen the untreated BPD person is not conscious of moving in the cycle from idealization to destruction. In denial of their illness the feelings are misperceived as an enlightening. They cycle thru to misperception that the partner is a disappointing human who mislead them during idealization and there-for deserves to be destroyed. With their brains injured in childhood this is the journey they are on as adults. They do not attribute this to BPD. They might admit to PTSD but deny BPD. In the final phases what they embark on is close-up destruction of their partner that is kept hidden from most others around the BPD person.
The untreated live hiding in a world of enlightened and unenlightened. They would typically be at war with any family member who knows of their diagnosis. Any outside person who eventually figures out what is going on, ie becomes enlightened is rapidly ejected typically under a constructed pretense….after a period of gaslighting that often convinces the partner that it was his or her fault.
This normalcy game allows the untreated BPD person to return again and again to the story that its just dating stuff, no big deal, nothing to notice there. As part of the game the BPD person is typicaly hiding numerous previous partners and destroyed relationships via ghosting.
They will typically scrub all traces of partners from social media as soon as they reach the descard and destroy phase of their cycle. They typically also will insist that the partner remove all social media references and links to them as part of the ghosting of the relationship. The partner is depicted as a stalker if those references are not removed or if any new ones are created. Forget important memories. Forget romance. This is ruthless self preservation. Any person who becomes enlightened is typically undermined via a subsequent destruction campaign, the ongoing execution of which can last for months and years but is kept hidden from family members and friends.
By their mid-forties the untreated BPD person has to get really creative with various stories to keep the facade in place. Mentally ill their distorted version of each relationship story is the same. The BPD person is always the victim who eventually became enlightened to deception and escaped. On and on the story goes always with slight variations.
As long as the BPD person remains in denial and untreated the horror show goes on and on without an inkling of concern for the victims. Unlike a sociopath or psychopath who engage in manipulation, deception and hurting others for pleasure, the untreated BPD person does so for self preservation, the hiding of his or her diagnosis. Thats the hidden secret to why they do what they do. Everyone and everything will be sacrificed for that single cause.
Aw honey, all the girls love a bad boy, we kinda stupid that way! You seem like a very nice guy who done got put into the friend category, we chicks can be onery especially when we’re young! Now don’t you dare go trying to be something you’re not cause you’re impatient
What I’ve learned is: Don’t compare yourself to others. You are unique. You are a one-of-a-kind. You are special. Trying to compare yourself to others is like trying to compare Apples to Oranges. They’re just different. Does that mean an Apple is worth less than an Orange? Or is an Orange more likely to have a better life than an Apple? No. They’re just different.
Humanity would be extinct within days. Other answers have postulated humans being raised by animals. Whilst this is a common meme, the evidence for it is poor. As Wikipedia points out “One of the best-known examples, the “detailed diaries” of Reverend Singh, who claimed to have discovered Amala and Kamala (two girls who had been “brought up from birth by wolves”) in a forest in India, has been proven a fraud to obtain funds for his orphanage.”
These are some of the first things my ex did that lead to much worse treatment. At first, he tried to make me feel important to him, but after a few months, he’d insult me in private and say his anger was my fault. When I confronted him on important matters, like when I found a receipt showing that he’s spent our rent money at the clubs, he yelled and broke things to show how angry he was. It didn’t matter that he’d brought the receipt home, because by then he expected me to doubt myself too much to stand up to him. I tolerated this treatment because I’d gotten used to being treated worse than everyone around us for so long.